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GET CLOSER TO YOUR FANTASIES:  a 'talkshop'.

Jim Stewart at “Living In Leather” 2000

E-mail = jimstewUK2@hotmail.com

 

 

SESSION AS DESCRIBED IN ADVANCE:

How to make your wildest erotic fantasies more potent in the privacy of your imagination. 

Would you really want to turn a favorite dream into a ‘reality’ - if so, what can you do the make it happen?

Practical ideas for getting fantasies into focus.

Different ways of communicating your specific preferences to other people

Open up some new horizons for yourself and others in this interactive brain-storming session.

Jim Stewart is an experienced explorer of what he calls ‘The Theatre of the Mind’s Eye’ but he is also a realist.

Come share your successes, failures, frustrations and dreams.

 

SESSION NOTES:

Not a lecture - discussion steered in direction you want it to go -

            but perhaps some fresh ideas to complicate your lives.

Basic headings  = give a quick run down the agenda

1.       What you came looking for = this session – LIL in general?

2.       Sexual fantasies = limitless, uninhibited by practicalities, dreams - or something more realistic.

3.       Fantasies or objectives = discuss the difference?

4.       Solo or shared experience – what are your options?

5.       Vocabulary and communication skills = word values to different people

6.       Icons - clichès – stereotypes = how we use them how we view them.

7.       Audio-video support = photos - video - audio-tapes - internet - future technologies

8.       Role playing - scene playing - all ‘theatre’ = discuss

9.       BUT - Knowing your own mind = Ingredients - specifics - focus

10.   Get closer to = make more tangible = make more potent

Mix of the group = who are they?

Audience’s expectations – this will decide where most time is spent:-

Informal ‘hands-up’ session = admit to sexual orientation or preferences = ASK

currently have partner? -  or unconnected?

exclusively ‘straight’? -  or ‘Gay” (for want of a better word’?)

bi or mixed activities imagined?

exclusively lesbian - or male/male only?

open to sexual experiment if circumstances were right?

MAYBE TWO OTHER QUESTIONS (men imagining .....? women imagining ....?

Sexual fantasies:

limitless dreams = uninhibited by space/time/safety/political correctitude (Criminal acts? - see fiction)

    OR - more focused - practical - down-to-earth =

Audience wouldn’t be at LIL if not doing something about their fantasies

Mental voyeurism  - or are you involved in scenarios you imagine?

Remain solo = independent and uncompromising - or looking to share if and when?

The nature of fantasy = COME BACK TO THIS TOPIC LATER  -

Imagining = Theatre of the Mind’s Eye.

Fantasy or objective = a simple distinction

Precise terminology - a topic I keep returning to

Fantasy = comfortable. Reality = dealing with hard facts - EXAMPLES

Danger of tarnishing a beautiful dream when reality intrudes on fantasy

Experience a fantasy - find a new one?

Objectives?  = how realistic are expectations? in terms of personality + socio-economic + family ties + work schedule

What are you doing about achieving it?

STILL - DON’T DESPAIR -  DIFFERENT TYPES OF FANTASY LIFE

Solo or shared experience

Private and personal fantasies - when turned into some sort of reality ... start to be ‘shared’? ...

Independence and self-indulgence - turn into compromise and responsibility?

Visualising and imagining together - or looking for ‘contributors’ to personal scenario?

Togetherness = WHAT? slave to someone else’s fantasies - mutual interests - mutual support- service industry

Reciprocation - switching - helping hand - bondage buddy - dreaming together

Communication skills

Vocabulary - (precision of) - nitty-gritty of communication

Difference between turn-on and total turn-off = explaining distinctions

Ingredients - chemistry - cooking - pick and mix

Knowing your own mind -= sharper focus

Julie Andrews list = “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things”

Names of the games - read the fiction - write the fiction = all explain favourite turn-ons to others?

Icons, stereotypes, clichès and originality

The ‘media’ & reality - “We Love S&M” story by Sally Barrett

Iconography and fetishism

Personalities or depersonalised

Sex with strangers - familiarity - trust and risk-taking COME BACK TO LATER

Domestic intrusion - DEAL WITH IN ROLE PLAY

Clear focus =

Having too broad a canvas - diffused imagery

Selecting parameters - for session or encounter - whether magined or real

Game plan per session - card games

Limit equipment - space - time

Loss of focus mid solo fantasy

Audio-video support

Visualisation and imagination support =

Intensify solo more than shared experiences

The Theatre of the Mind’s Eye - more solo.

JOINT SCENARIO PLANNING - TALK ABOUT LATER

First - Fiction - personalised - also in terms of responsibility = content ‘safe sane!!’

Photos = personification of an abstract - drawings -

Commercial videos - home-videos = points of departure - big topic - “Houdini Connections”

Technology - home publishing - montage - collage - storyboards

Down-loads and paste-ups (mental or physical) - computer based?

Internet - WHOLE EXTRA TOPIC = IF TIME ALLOWS LATER

Availability of information on obscure ‘special’ interests - contact.

Personal Ads and Internet = a new form of fiction?

Chat room - safely learn what other people do and think - FLAMING.

Role play

Not dishonest = embodiment

Play acting or personality adjustment - CITE EXAMPLES

Identity -familiarity - anonymity - taking a vacation from your everyday self

Hoods and blindfolds - escape - surrender of personal self - surrender of responsibility

Image substitution in the mind = hollywood - no insult

Scene playing - suspension of disbelief - out-door scene playing

Tokenism - stylisation - fetishism - symbolism

Scenario planning

Flexible scenes and open ended stories - shared scenes - helping out = not orgies - Central Casting

Too detailed wish-lists or specific demands

Fun from pre-planning = deciding posibilities - limits/constraints = ...

... space - time- equipment - SO ENJOY planning to find-make-buy + actual buying-making-testing-REHEARSING

Working towards an event = a scene in itself - solo or shared - helping hands - secret - with outsiders

Solo Imagining = Theatre of the Mind’s Eye

... if not previously covered under “audio-visual’ ... INTRODUCE “SCENARIO” PROJECT?

Sum up

Imagination = fantasy = objective or not. Enjoyment = stronger focus

Communication = knowing the name of the game. - precise vocabulary = clear in your own mind.

Writing it down - talking on internet or phone - before face to face? - sounding boards - not only one in the world.

 

FOLLOWED BY DISCUSSION SESSION

 

 

This is essentially a discussion document.

Feedback on the web page http://www.houdini-connections.co.uk/4-info/Topics/get-closer.htm
is always appreciated.

The topic has been expanded with correspondence on related topics at

http://www.houdini-connections.co.uk/4-info/Topics/story building.htm

E-mail Jim Stewart at jimstewuk2@hotmail.com